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Life Lately: A Year Later in the AE

Natural Habitat
Hello, it's been a while... and a lot has changed since I did a life lately post. For starters, I'm happy to tell you that, emotionally-wise, I'm a lot better than I was a year before. 😊 My heart has been transformed and what once was shattered, is now slowly mending - piece by piece. I'm still not there yet but I'm hopeful that by the end of this year, I'll be so much better than I am today. I'm also happy to report that my mental state these days has been improving. Although there are still days that I'm on the down-low, I now appreciate the good times more, and I strive to see things positively.

The start of the year has been mediocre for me. Not much happened in my mundane life. I started the year with high hopes and with a positive outlook, thinking that that state of mind will be carried over throughout the year but halfway through this year's first month, I seem to find myself lacking in the positivity department. I am craving for so much more. A spark, a twist, a bit of something that will give me the inspiration to face my life with a little bit more vigor and enthusiasm. I feel like I'm in a drought. Because lately, I'm just passing the days through, counting down the hours until my next day off. Work has been boring and unchallenging. I think I'm on another plateau and I fear the demotivation inside me. I just hope that this is only a phase and that I will overcome this sooner.

It seemed like it was forever ago that I wrote something here but it was just actually a week ago. Why do Januarys always feel like it's taking it's time to pass by but when we get through it, all of the following months pass by like they're nothing? Or is it just me? Haha...

I got another tattoo by the way. 🐦 For so long, I have been thinking about getting a tattoo of a flock of birds, flying. I thought about having it on my neck but I decided to have it at my hands. I'd like to think that there's a significant meaning of these birds but there's really none. I just love how birds are so free to fly wherever they want to go. And that's something I hope to have in my life.  

Anyway, I just wanted to write a little life update because I felt like I owe it to myself to look at how I have been now that I'm already in Dubai for more than a year. I won't lie, being an OFW is tough. This was something I was not prepared for. I expected it to become easier after some time. When I can adjust and all. But after a year, I realized I was wrong. It's tougher than ever. Yes, I've been blessed to be here, to have a job, to have a roof over my head, to be able to help my family. But as I step back and look at my life, I see the holes I've been trying to ignore. Living as an OFW has so many limitations. And maybe these are the things that I need to pay for, for being here, for choosing this life.

Have you ever felt tired? Because that's how my soul feels now. Just tired of everything. 

Things are bound to change, I know this. I just hope that this change will come soon and that this change will be a good kind of change. x

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About Renee Alexis

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Renee Alexis Taladua, 26, is a licensed metallurgical engineer who has left the field in search of a more fulfilling work lifestyle. She has a great love for books and new adventures. Her Goodreads profile suggests that her taste in books vary over time, depending on her mood and her current life situation.

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